The Diary of Princess Peach
by Queen of Blades
Summary: a surprizing new outlook on the Mario series. I don't know why I wrote it, but here it is.


Notice: I do not own Peach, Mario, Luigi, Toad, or anyone else in this fic. 

            This is the first fic  I ever wrote, so if it suks, that's why. Perhaps I'll write more if u review. I am busy, though, so it would take a while, so let's make it 10 reviews for a sequal. Thank you very much. Have a nice day.

                                    The Diary of Princess Peach

                                    A story by Wouldn't you like to know? 

            6-16

            Oh, why did he have to save me? Why couldn't he leave well enough alone? I was fast asleep, enraptured by seemingly eternal dreams of my true beloved, when suddenly, I had a real rude awakening: I saw HIS great ugly mug. Oh, why does he have to always be the hero? Why does he have to love me so? Why did father have to get us engaged?

            Now I have to bake this stupid cake for him. I hope he chokes.

            6-17

            He didn't choke. Oh, poo.

            6-18

            I know! If Mario dies, I can finally be with my true beloved! I'll hire DK; tell him to make it look like an accident.

            6-22

            Mario is on Vacation, and daddy won't let that brute of a monkey come anywhere near his precious girl. I hope our vacation is less stressful. It won't be, because daddy said to bring one person. He doesn't even bother asking who I want to bring. Oh, how did this all happen? It was Mario's fault! He was the one who picked me, enter the tournament of conquest, and won me, like some prize pig at the fairgrounds. I AM NOT A PIG!! I am MUCH more pretty. I have perfect complexion, fair skin, soft as a peach, a pinkish-peach colored dress I always wear, and long, thick blond hair.

            6-23

            He did save me a few times, true. But as I told daddy, I don't like fighters. I'd rather have a tall, handsome man who could show me true affection. Is it wrong to prefer (dare I write your name, beloved?) Luigi *sigh* to ... him!? Oh, woe is me. I guess I can't have him bumped off, so I'll just arrange for him to be... detained. I know! a challenge to a conquest during to tournament! For this, I'll need all my connections. It'll be worth is for a month alone with my beloved.

            6-24

            Note to self- call DK, tell him to tell wario to ask waluigi to get his friends to hold a tournament, and tell wario(separately) to challenge Mario. Waluigi would never go along with it.

            6-25

            Packing list:

            ESSENTIALS:

            Blow dryer

            Money

            Stuffed animals

            Jewelry

            Pets

            Pet food

            Cross-stitch

            At least 20 day dresses

            Shifts

            23 nightgowns

            20 evening gowns (a wide selection)

            25 morning gowns

            gold silverware (the stuff there is silver. How horrid!)

            crystal looking glass (a present from an admirer)

            portrait of self

            oh, dear, I hope I haven't forgotten anything. We're staying 2 weeks. I know, I know, but I like to pack light.

7-1

            He's going to leave early, to be at the tournament. But I put up such a WAIL,  like none others before it, saying that some monster would certainly EAT me while he was away, that I can never ENJOY myself without a chaperone, that I'm much too FRAGILE to survive. Then I used the clincher: I said I was certain BOWSER would take advantage of me and that I HATED sleeping and being vulnerable waiting for him. he still feels guilty about leaving the castle in the first place. He started to say he would cancel the tournament! I set that up in the first place! no WAY! so I pretended to be flattered as I thanked him, and talked about my big, brave hero. Big is right. he's been packing on the doughnuts lately. anyways, I said that, appearing puzzled, wouldn't the people think he was a coward? so he said he'd send Luigi to protect me while he was gone. Finally! Jeez, what's up with this system? 

            7-11

            Today I just stayed in my room. It's actually a nice room… Sunny, warm. It has huge French windows, and it has morning sun and afternoon shade (Perfect, as the day gets really hot towards afternoon). My huge bed is against  one wall, opposite the windows. The windows take up most of one wall, with a desk in between 2 giant windows that wrap around the corners of my room . My bed is large, with a fine mist-like canopy and satin and silk sheet and covers. Pink, of course. But not real pink, but the same peachy pink as my favorite dress. The walls are pink, too, a sort of pink that shimmers in the morning light. There are birds nested in trees that end right below my windows, so that I get bird songs and nestlings but they don't obscure my view. My view is of the pool and the tennis courts, where even Daisy, who lives next door, plays. On rainy days we all play Mario Party, of course, but in the sun we like to play Mario Tennis, a special type of tennis he invented played on special tennis courts. My cat likes to watch the birds. Oops, I didn't mention Sandy, did I? Her coat is soft and luxurious, and sand-colored. That's why she's named Sandy (DUH!!). She's only a kitten, but she's very smart. 

            7-12

            I have other pets, too. I keep Dragons and hawks and falcons and songbirds and cats and dogs and all sorts of injured animals… I even had a koopa in here once! I WON'T keep crabs, though. I HATE them. I gave a baby Dragon to Luigi once. He was cute. I also keep Yoshis, of course. Red and blue and pink and green and white and light blue … I gave a few to the boys a while back, right before I got captured by Bowser. That was a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time ago. Was it the first time they saved me? I can't remember.

7-17

            The week of torture is nearly over. Mar-mar is being such a DOOFUS, he keeps asking if I'm SURE I want him to go, and weather I'll need ANYTHING while he's gone. He's dead gone on me, that's for sure. Well, that's what I get for being girlish.

            In the meantime, how will I tell Luigi that I love him?

            7-20

            He seemed to have fun, laughing at my jokes. He actually said he'd never seen this side of me before!! Wow, I'm SO flattered!!

            Later on 7-20

            What if he meant he LIKED me girlish?!?!?!?!?! 

            Even LATER on 7-20

            MUST STOP OBSESSING OVER THIS!!!!!!!!

            7-23

            OH No! The most terrible thing has happened! Mario's been captured! No one tells me anything, so I don't know how or why. This is TERRIBLE!!! I feel so sorry for the little dunderhead. If it weren't for my setting up that tournament, he wouldn't have left. If he hadn't left, he wouldn't have been captured. Does that make this all my fault?!?! Oh WHY did I have to be so selfish! I didn't think I would care, but I find myself missing him. I hope he's alright.

            7-24

            The cooks say Luigi won a contest, and the maids heard that Mario is trapped in a house full of ghosts! How Dreadful! I hope he's all right!!!!!!!!!!! The maids said that the house was the one that Luigi won in a contest, and that L. has to get some sort of vacuum or something. He'll be fine. Mario can take care of himself. I think. I hope.

            7-25

            Luigi's gone to look for Mario. Oh poo. Now I have 2 people to worry about. I made him promise to write me every day. He seemed sad at the thought of leaving me. He's probably just worried about Mario.

            8-10

            OH NO! NOT MARIO!!!!!!!!!!! They say he's been KILLED!!! I  didn't like him that much, but he didn't deserve to DIE!!!!!!!!! He's not THAT bad! He was short and fat, but he was a sweetie pie. I'll never forget the way he discovered all the castle's secrets in no time flat! 

            8-12

            It's all my fault. I killed him. I hate me.

            8-13

            Luigi has stopped writing. Strange, but I don't seem to care very much. I'm still kind of numb. I can't believe he's gone. I keep waking up and wondering what he's doing today, until I remember. I  never think if Luigi now. I'm just like all the rest, I suppose: think if the hero and ignore Luigi. People used to call them the Mario Brothers. Now they never talk of either of them. I can see why. Luigi by himself as a name seems so… so… so half of a person, you know?

            8-20

            Father says I'm to marry someone before my next birthday. I'm too depressed over Mar-mar to care. Probably Wario. He's fat and short and brave. But he's nothing compared to poor Mario. We're still at the vacation house. My dad called "national emergency".

            8-25

            THIS IS INSANE!!!!!!!!!! I'm to marry TOAD!!!! The little MUSHROOM?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

            8-26

            I'm so SELFISH! I'm a selfish little PIG!! Why should I care who I marry when Mario's dead? I should be glad to be marrying quickly, before word gets out that I'm a murderess.

9-11

            Here comes the bride, some girl who's marrying a mushroom. Seriously!!! This is insane!! A few weeks ago father explained to me that, in the absence of a willing hero, he had chosen a husband!! This is just like in that old tale in Arabian Nights, where the sultan comes in and says "I have chosen a husband for you. You will marry Jafar " (the evil Grand Visor). All she wanted was to marry the hero dressed up as a prince!!

            Later

            What do I want?

            Even later

            I want Mario to be alive again, that's what I want.

            9-12

            MARRIED LIFE STINKS!!!! Toad says that I have to wear all this clothing, rather than a simple 2-piece gown/slip combo. HE thinks if I look really, really pretty, I won't get targeted by Bowser anymore. Fat chance! But at least I won't get him killed this way!

            9-13

            Oh good, tomorrow we go golfing! I'm sure he won't make me golf in all this junk! Finally, a chance to breathe! I think I'm starting to get over Mario's death. I'm starting to be able to sleep at night without nightmares of how it must have happened. Maybe it's a by-product of suffocation.

            9-14

            He meant HE would golf, and I would be stuffed into a golf cart and watch.

            9-21

            Went to play tennis. Got stuffed into an observation booth.

            9-22

            Went to the races. Got stuffed into the grandstands. I HATE BEING STUFFED!!!

            9-23

            In all fairness, he only has my best intentions in life. He tries to be brave, but he's not... MARIO. He wouldn't be able to rescue me if danger (read Bowser) struck. Now look at me! I haven't written of Mario in days! Am I starting to forget him? I feel so guilty for not thinking of him in a while. I've been so caught up in my own problems I've forgotten that there are others worse off than me. Like Luigi. He must be so devastated over Mario's loss. I wish there was a way I could comfort him. I also wish there was a way to get Toad to let me BREATH occasionally!

            9-25

            I know what I'll do! It will be risky, but I can't stand another minute of being stuffed. It's a desperate plan, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I need something familiar! The only thing I got to bring with me is this Diary. But I can't let this bog me down. Oh Diary, I'm afraid I'll win my freedom without you!

NOTE: since Peach did not bring her diary with her and did not start a new one for some time, we must rely on an 

EXCERT FROM LUIGI'S DIARY

            November First

Dear Diary:

            I was going out to get some pansies for Stinkhead to put in the house. Since he recovered he's been bossier than ever. 

            Anyways, I was about to open the door when the doorbell rang. I threw open the door to see a raggedy, beggar woman. Then she lifted her head and smiled and I realized "That's no beggar, that's the PRINCESS!!!" She looked so weary, but before I could say how much she looked like an angel, Guess Who came down wanting to know "Who's at the door?"

            Peach took one look at him and fainted dead away. Of course Mario caught her, and kissed her, and escorted my beautiful angel up the stairs to her bedroom. HE GETS EVERYTHING!!! He's always been the GOOD twin, the one EVERYONE thinks about. Rats.

PEACH'S DIARY NUMBER 2

            10-10

            HE's ALIVE!!!! The dunderhead DIDN'T die!!!! IT'S A MIRICLE!!!

And he's obviously back to his old self again. The first thing he said to me once I awakened was "You'll never have to lift a finger again. I promise. I don't want you to ever be that weary." HONESTLY!!! Then he went on to ask me what had happened, and I blurted something about having to marry Toad. He asked if Toad had made me work or treated me badly, then, without waiting for an answer, shushed me and said I needed sleep. I have escaped one prison only to be caught in another.

            10-16

            Mario assumes I'll marry him, so he hasn't actually asked. Luigi visits me when he can, and we talk. I was protesting that Mario never asked me to marry him when Luigi, missing the point entirely, said, "What? That fool won't marry you?!?! I'll marry you if he won't. Don't worry, I'll be just as good to you as he would." What a pickle! They won't even let me out of bed! THIS STINKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

            10-17

            Today they both came to demand of me which I planned to marry. I told them I'd think about it. I want to marry Luigi, but I hardly know him, and I don't want to break Mario's heart. Now What? I have to marry SOMEBODY!!! Otherwise, who will protect me from Bowser!

            10-18

            OH MY GOD I'm an IDIOT!! I was just reading over the last entry and suddenly it all became clear: I DON'T have to marry ANYONE!!!!! I'm strong enough just to be ME, not half of a couple. I can request my OWN castle! I can protect MYSELF!!! … As soon as I'm well, that is. Besides, if I'm stuck here, how can I help those worse off than me?

            10-19

            My father arrived today. I'll ask if he'll give me a castle of my own to live in. Rapunzel at least got a TOWER!!

            10-20

            Me: I want my own castle

            Daddy: You want a new castle!?!?

            Me: No, I want my OWN castle

            Daddy: Honey, we just rebuilt it last year.

            Me: No, I don't want a NEW castle, I want my OWN castle

            Daddy: Maybe when you marry Mario he'll get you a new one.

            Me: I don't want HIS castle, I want MY castle

            Daddy: Honey, you don't HAVE a castle

At this point I just gave up. No help there. I guess I can get my own on Daddy's money, which is actually MY money, too, being his heir.

            10-20

            It's all settled. I'm moving in tomorrow. The boys can fight over me all they want. Besides, I think I'm in love with DK!!!!!! But this time, I won't swoon over him. I am, after all, and Independent Woman! And if Bowser attacks, perhaps someone can rescue me if they wish. I doubt it. Mario's off on some product testing expedition. It looks like a huge water tank, but he's overseeing its completion. No word yet on how he plans to use it. But I don't really care anymore. I'm giving away load of money to charity. I'll never forget those months when I thought Mario was dead. It really taught me something. I don't need fancy things and tons of lovers to make me happy. All I need is to love, and to be loved in return, and to help those in need, and to not kill anyone, and I'll be fine.

Note to self: QUIT OBSESSING IN YOUR DIARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


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